To properly shape the burn-out recovery process, it was very important for me to gain insight into my energy flows. I had to figure out where I got energy from, but also where my energy was going. In this way I mainly tried to detect energy leaks. Situations that cost me more energy than they brought me.
To start that up I split my energy into 2 blocks. What costs me energy and how can I supplement it. For that I have made the diagram below.
It turned out that an effort cost as much as two relaxations. So if I had been stressed for a morning, it would take me two parts of the day to neutralize that. For example, if there were noisy visitors, it took me twice as much time to get that back in balance.
I started to use this insight to get more control in my own hands. To become the boss of the burn-out recovery process.
How I did that, that is described below.
On an a4 sheet I wrote the day at the top. Then I described what I was up to. I did that on:
It looked like this:
GET UP BREAKFAST AND CLEAN UP
DISAPPOINTING DUE TO FAMILY HUSTLE AND BUSTLE
SHOWER, MAKE TEA AND WATCH TV UNTIL 10:00 AM
WAS RELAXED FUN SERIES WATCHED
WALKING, WALKING AROUND THE PARK
WAS FINE, STARTED AS RED, BUT TURNED GREEN (SUN WAS SHINING)
GET SANDWICHES AFTER A WALK
SHOP REMAINS A RISK, WAS NOW QUIET
At the end of the day I evaluated what went well and what fell against it. This allowed me to plan better the next day.
Before the burn-out I did a lot, but during the burn-out less and less. With the setting up of this planning, I, but also, we as a family, started to gain more and more insight into where the energy leaks arose.
It became increasingly clear which activities had a positive or negative effect on my energy. Of course, that also had consequences for my environment.
They were part of my burn-out and felt the consequences. The planning also gave them insights into what I could and could not do. This planning also had consequences for them.
By planning, I got peace of mind in addition to the insight. Before the burn-out, I flew from left to right and was busy with 10 things at once. By planning now and consciously thinking about what could and could not be done, I got a better grip on the matter.
I could see in advance what was going to take too much energy because of the planning. I could then take measures on that.
This change was important. To no longer say yes to everything like a headless chicken, but first think carefully. That was new to me and really changed my view of my energy.
Consciously dealing with your time and realizing that not everything is possible and necessary, that was the growth that I / we were going through. I also noticed the familiar phrase: should I do this now? Very fitting for the situation:
Should I do this now?… Should it or is it not necessary?
Should I do this now? … Me or can someone else do it
Should I do this now? … This or can it also be something else
Should I do this now? … Now or can it also be done later
Should I do this now? … Should it be done at all
Every time I consciously started to wonder that, where I often ended up with a different outcome than I had thought.
Making a schedule gave me the peace and overview to oversee my activities and adjust them where necessary. By doing this daily, my confidence in my recovery grew.
Of course, it also went wrong a few times and I planned too much or too little (moments of rest). But I have come to see that as learning money. In the end, I still occasionally make such a schedule. Just to guard my energy in peace.
What is positive?
I learned what to do and what not to do and I felt that I could make choices. Right and wrong. I also noticed that I want to get a grip on the process because I have an overview. Which made me very slowly, more and more in charge of myself.
Keep it should be fine!!
By making a planner I have gained a lot of insight into whether an activity costs energy (red) or yields (green. If I got a stomachache again, I looked at my planner and often there was too much red in it.
To my surroundings, this worked well. They also got a view of what I was up to and what my energy was like.
It is still the case that my: wife, children, colleagues, family occasionally say …. eehhh take it easy. Then I think oh yes, they are right!!