In the beginning, you sometimes misjudge your abilities. You think you can still do everything: visits, dinners, birthdays or going out with your family. But that can backfire. There is a difference between what you want and what you can do and that is difficult. After all, you say yes, but your body responds as no.
That is irritating for you and those around you. You give the impression that anything is possible, but that is not the case yet. This means that making appointment with you is not possible. You are unreliable.
In short: don’t promise anything. You’re not sure you can live up to it. If you do make them, indicate that you are not sure if you can. With a burnout, that remains difficult to estimate.
Very often I have canceled appointments or promises at the last minute. It all seemed fine in my head, but my body reacted so fiercely that I had no choice but to cancel. That was very annoying for everybody. Especially if they counted on me (with food, or sports id). I felt quite guilty about that. People make an effort for you and you cannot deliver.
I then decided that I was not going to make any appointments and that I would leave everything as it is. That gave me some peace of mind.
Not making appointments provides clarity. This is a very clear boundary for you. You’re not there yet. This is also a sign for your environment that you are not there yet. So discuss with them that they leave you alone and when the time comes, that you join again.
1. Be honest to yourself
2. The social pressure can be great, try to resist it
3. Explain it to your environment. That you want to be left alone.
4. It takes courage to stand up for this, so be proud of yourself for drawing this line.
5. There will come a time when you can make appointments again, this will pass.
Keep it going it will be fine!!
You also need the space here to say No without pressure. To work on yourself and to discover that what you want and can do are different. Making appointments creates obligations and that is not convenient.
Now, 2.5 years after my burn out, I am making appointments again. Visits to family, friends, sports etc. So it really comes back the moment you get more energy. In case you think, this will never work out…it isn’t.
You too will be sitting on the terrace with friends in a while, mountain biking with friends or going to a concert. That time is coming back!!